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Pruning.

That's it...it has to be it. God is pruning me. The fruit is there but He wants more....so pruning.

That is a good thing.

But it is tiring. It is hard. And it just makes you realize how much you can't do it on your own.

I knew today I would cry at church. Not the kind where it is the fake crocodile tears, but just so overwhelmed, tired and just needing God to fill me up type of tears. I asked for confirmation for things. I've been trying my hardest to not ask God to confirm things for me over and over...but today, I was absolutely done. Every bit of my heart was wrung dry and hanging in the sunlight to wither up some more. I just needed to hear Him tell me truth.

See, He and I have been in the same house, same work field...there is nowhere I go He is not present and alive. But in the midst of all of this, we haven't made eye contact long enough to just smile back at one another, to talk about our heart's desires and just laugh...Him and me....

I just needed Him....

I was hoping "Blessed Be the Name of the Lord" would be sung today.

But rather, "Everlasting God" came on....and I just closed my eyes and started crying. The words just dripped out of my mouth...there was no way they could be contained inside my body....

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Met a new missionary family today and spent most of the afternoon eating and fellowshipping with them and a lady from Child's Voice. It was amazing. Ashely has some neat contacts and I've thoroughly enjoyed meeting them. It was a blessing...

But also weird. See I have not hungout with muzungos in a long time. I am actually probably more comfortable in an African/African-American community then in one with people who look like me. Weird, I know, but still. I felt like I stuck out. It was weird. But this new family is awesome...they have 4 little girls and LOVE the Lord. I can't wait for the Acholi to love them....they are great!!! Such joy, love and excitement.

Played some football with the neighbor kids...boy do I like them.

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Mustard seeds....
I feel like a mustard seed...so tiny, helpless, meaningless....
Sower, plant me in a rich soil and let me bear much shade, fruit...whatever You need me to be.

I am so tiny. I don't know if I am useful now, but I have faith that You will magnify it....

You are the vine, I am the branch...I will remain in You...please remain in me. For apart from You I can do NOTHING.

I love You....let's chat....there is a lot we need to talk about. :)

That's the mind of a missionary...just desiring to chat and be with God.
Nothing else. :)