Refreshment

I’ve come to realize and accept that my presence means a lot to people; and that is due to me being a foreigner and especially a white. It really carries a lot. It is weird to think and it is something I must carry with a humble heart and mind, but it is something I have come to terms with in the ministry I serve. It isn’t a racist thing or a way for me to pump my ego; rather it is something that sweeps me from under my feet, falling on my face and asking God to grant me wisdom and direction on how to be more like Him.

I think of Jesus and how He was invited to people’s homes. When He told Zaccheaus He was going to his home…no asking, just telling. Instead of moaning and feeling burdened he leapt off the tree and hurried home to welcome the Guest. How as He was staying at someone’s house reclining and enjoying the feast, strangers came into the home and welcomed Him. Even prepared His body with perfumes and washed His feet with hair. How crowds would encircle Him where He couldn’t get to anywhere on time….not even time enough to go heal a person because another ran to touch His cloth to be healed from her 12 year bleeding...and He wanted to hear her story. But yet, in His timing, He was still able to resurrect the dead at the timing that fit for not just the child dying but for the woman whose soul was dead. He resurrects joy and hope fully – when we think it isn’t timely or when we think it is a burden, Jesus took the time to recognize each individual who came across His path. Even children who were crowding Him to where the disciples couldn’t get their work done, He stopped and rebuked them because those children who were coming to Him were more important at that second then what would be important in the next few minutes.

It says in Isaiah that Jesus was not handsome, or stately or even that big of a deal to look at. However, His presence would draw people to Him. Just who He was and what He would say would stop crowds in awe. The very fact He was holy, honorable, just and perfect, people wanted that. Then in the book of Hebrews it talks about us, as believers in Christ, are a priestly nation set apart (holy) for His glory. It states nothing of what we look like…just what and who we believe and follow.

As a follower of Christ, I see myself as the description in Isaiah. I am not beautiful or physically able to draw people to want to be in my presence. However, the Christ, the Holy Spirit, that lives in me and is protruded before my very own soul, is what makes me set apart. Yes, the white-ness might first draw out something….but then it is the Holy Spirit that draws them closer…beyond a hello.

I think to myself, “How did Jesus NOT get an ego with people always wanting to be around Him? How was He able to be so kind, welcoming, true and compassionate to all who desired Him?” Then I stop and think about the concept of desiring Him. If we desire Him and draw near to Him, He says He will draw near to us. If we want Him, we got Him. That simple.

So…if people want to be in my presence, I will take it as they want to be drawn near to the Christ-likeness in me…not just me. As an ambassador of Christ, that is a serious mindset to be in. I am the first stage to the kingdom presence. To know me is to get a glimpse of the Heavenly Father, the Holy Redeemer…it is like I am a door for God….the sign is posted, the lock is open and all people need to do is reach and open the door…there, after one enters they will be right in the presence with Him all on their own. I was just the door.

I forgot what it was like to be new in Gulu. I guess it just always seemed right and home to me, that I never felt foreign to it. As I am taking Ashley around and trying to get her acclimated to things I am not sure what is helpful, overwhelming, or even wanted. Luckily, she is very easy going. However much I am trying to show her around, I am trying to show and introduce her to the people. Let her see who these people are, not where they live…introducing her to the soul of Gulu. It is a very special soul, indeed. I hope she sees that.

As we walked in the neighborhood, Bridget and Joy’s grandmother invited us into their home. We sat for a good while to talk. It was lovely. Eventually kids came and then Beatrice. Very welcoming. I know it honored Mego (the grandmother) to have us there. Pretty sure we might have been the first whites in her home. We talked to the granddaughters and just enjoyed being in the house. I think I even got a future cooking lesson out of it. They will be the next for the dodo and beans…they don’t think I can make it – HA! Grandmother, Katalina, is taking care of 9 children in a small but nice 3 room house. She did ask me about sponsoring her children and buying her a phone but I explained my financial situation….and did offer to make her dinner sometime. She then offered to cook for us. She wasn’t offended and she accepted my honesty well and then it was done. I’ve noticed if I handle the situation of being asked for money honestly it goes over very well and no one is offended. If I lie or avoid it then it becomes awkward and not good. Guess it is good to always tell the truth.

There is more to my day...my thoughts...but my mind is racing. All I can think of is how much I just want to be in a river of cool, refreshing water, playing and splashing and just BEING with Jesus. Just feeling that refreshment and being RIGHT with him...I mean why can't He be right here right now in total person with me? I just want to hear Him laugh...talk...I want to know what His eyes look exactly like. I want to know how His smiles creases....

Guess I will have to "settle" by looking in the faces and hearing the voices of the Acholi. :)