Cooking Machine

I have to say, my church back home, Ridgewood, really does a great job of taking care of their own. Anytime someone is in the hospital or sick, a group of women cook food and get it over there. Because I know how wonderful that is, I am going to start that ministry here...and have started. Any person I know who is in the hospital I will be making them food....and hopefully, they will see how cool that is and do it for someone else.

With that, I made dodo today. It is a different type of green. It is delicious. By far my favorite. Made more beans, too. Asked Cosmas to try it (tonight's rendition of tea and bread) and he said it was good, but a little more oil in the dodo...so tomorrow morning I will wake up early and do more cooking for Jennifer and Mama Ochira.

Today, the day was spent taking more profiles and helping sick people again. Sickness has been eating away at our families - now Laker Lady and Grandmother Carmella are both ill with malaria. But the day hit my heart in a different way....

The women of Tegot...their struggles....their traps....their defeat....their lives....the hope that can free them.

Today, we talked at length with Mama Oyella, Akello Christine (knew I loved her for a good reason! HA!) at first to get the profile for her eldest daughter, Stella....only to find out her story more in detail...
She was married to a man who she obviously loved dearly - she said he was the best man ever. While she was pregnant with Stella in her 6 month, the LRA rebels ambushed her village and killed her husband. She was left with no one to take care of her and a child on the way. She eventually married the man to whom she is married to right now...a man who has another wife and children. He isn't bad to her, but he has another family. As we talked and asked her more questions about her life and how things are done we excused Stella from the house and had heart to heart conversations. Voices were turned low, until he would randomly walk into the hut to where it would perk up into normal tone and simple conversation. She was obviously aware she shouldn't talk about what we were talking about but you could just tell she wanted to share with us and most importantly she trusted us. See none of us knew she was the second wife. None of us knew about Stella and her first marriage. None of knew how she really felt about being married to a man who had another wife and family. She feels so trapped because if she were to leave him, the children - the three she has with him, Oyella, Lydia and baby, would be his and would be left...and she loves her babies more than life itself. Baby was born last summer by c-section and she still works hard everyday picking things up, carrying, working....though she is not supposed to. He doesn't help much with it all and she gets criticized for not doing her part. She has to make sure she makes enough money gardening and digging to support...but she can't. She physcially can't. Though she is tough and strong, her body is not fully healed. She is also at his mercy to move out of camp. He has not done anything - for either family. I know Akello would make her own huts and move her own stuff...if she could.

She doesn't like the fact that she is the second wife....but she doesn't know what else to do. Stella is allowed to stay with them....something in this culture is not normal. When a woman remarries the child from the previous marriage is not welcome and the mother leaves the child or children with grandparents, uncles or aunts and sometimes just plain abandons them. Her husband lets Stella stay because Akello's husband's family no longer exists due to this war. Her family is far away. So she stays. Unusual in culture, a blessing to Akello to have all four of her children with her; especially the one that reminds her of the love of her life.

We asked many questions...she answered them. She was pouring her real feelings out and we held them dearly to comfort and love her...to hear her...to let her know we care. At one point I thought how much of a chance and risk we were taking talking to her so candidly....he was just outside at the next hut.

There I wanted to risk everything....my reputation, my status, my life...to pack her up with her children and get them a new home, train her in a trade, get her medical attention, send her kids to nursery and primary school, let her heal from all the pain she has dealt with....I just wanted to take her away. The thought of a man having two wives absolutely disgusts me. Once I knew the man as a good husband now turned my stomach sour knowing he had two wives. It makes me sick. For real. And I didn't want my sister Akello to play second fiddle, worker and provider for a man who did not love her for the woman God created her to be and is. Right away, my mind flew in conspiracies of taking Akello, Mama Laker, and Jennifer, all women with husbands who have more than one wife, far away from these situations...far away from a place where raising a young girl in a home where the father can have two wives and choose who he wants to take care of or not, is acceptable....

A safe compound where women who were in these situations could start over. Where Christ would be the husband to them and they would know Him truly and intimately. That the children would know what a real man of God is and how marriage really should be.

I love these women so much and get so heated inside thinking about what they have to deal with day in and day out. Now that Akello is cooking for Saturday Club, I asked her point blank if that money goes to her and her children or to her husband. Thankfully, the man has some decency in him to let her keep what she earns on her own. That in mind, asked her if we build her a home and a kitchen would she have to share it with the other woman...thankfully, no.

But as I write this, I am reminded that I must love the husband as well....it is so hard for me. Really hard. But he needs Christ too. He needs to know what a man should be like to a woman. He needs to learn. He needs to be trained. He needs to change his life for Christ.

And I pose this to you all.....

How does that get done?

"God, I know You have placed this on my heart. I know You have many visions for me to be Your hands and feet. I know You are in control and setting every step here. I trust that You have laid this on my heart to do more than pray...to act...to teach...to train...to love. LORD, what does that look like? I am willing to sacrifice it all for You...for Your beautiful women, children and men who so desperately need transformation and healing. To turn their gazes to heaven and live lives worthy of living - for Your Glory. Oh, LORD, show me where, what, how, and when you want me to go...to do....to be...Send me!!"