I like going to church.....

Sunday, November 15, 2009

I need to learn to chillax and not be defensive.

I’ve noticed this past week a lot of tension in my thoughts, words and actions. I really fought hard to not revert back to old habits and if they did creep up, to quickly acknowledge and rectify it. I allow things that shouldn’t stress me out, stress me out and things that I have no control over get me. Not in a super bad way in anyway, but, in my mind and heart…so, that is bad in itself. So, I need to chillax.

Driving Mama Lorella to the bus park became a bit more drama than needed. I parked in the compound last night but the storm and rain we had really made the ground soft. I got stuck coming out of the compound on the new road they built for us. Great thing was that at seven in the morning the men of the village came to help us out. Praise God. I don’t know where they came from (cuz they weren’t there the first time I got it stuck!) but I sure appreciate it. I did find the four wheel drive button – after the fact. It was stressful having Lorella there – I felt like such an idiot. I seriously can drive people. Simon and I dropped her off after we said our goodbyes. I have to say, I wish she was closer and/or visited more often. Her presence was MUCH appreciated.

Quickly ran home, changed and headed over to Watoto. Arrived a bit early so I went to the table to sign up for a cell group. I met the lady, Jane, and she will hopefully get in contact with me. I really hope and pray this will be an awesome opportunity to fellowship, get connected and grow. I am feeling more and more at home at Watoto. People greet me but no one has come up to really talk yet. Kind of weird being on that end. I am used to being the welcoming/talking person to a new visitor. Granted, I didn’t always get to it because I would get swarmed with the kids or have to put the djembe away (which I miss the kids of Ridgewood soooooooooooo bad….props to Rhianna, Tessa, Aaron, Annika, Alex, Mia, Lukey, IZ, Amanda, Annatalia, Elli, Trevor, Tia, Eli, Ethan, Jamie…oh heck, ALL the kids!!) but I still tried. It is interesting. I am not offended or anything because an usher always is welcoming and when we shake hands people are very warm. One thing I really dig, is that when we do the opening prayer after worship we stand as a church and hold hands…very cool.

Today’s sermon was on Matthew 13 and how Jesus taught on the kingdom. It reminded me a lot of our pastor at home, Neal, who talks about being in good soil – all the time! Reminded me to pray for him, his family and the ministries. Three things to take away here:

1.) Must have a clear understanding of God’s Word
a. Be prepared for our own states of readiness. How has God’s Word
taken in my life?
2.) Commitment to Jesus
a. Can’t be a fair weather Christian – there is a cost to being a
disciple. To be a follower of Christ I will most certainly have a cost
to pay for it….
b. If my fire ever dies out I must look at my commitment to Him. What
is the point to have all the things of the world and lose my soul?
3.) Devotion to God’s Word
a. God’s Word isn’t just a way to escape from hell – it a way of life.
b. Reminded me how much God is a gentleman. He will take over your
life, but if you decided to put something or someone before Him, He
will step back and allow you that choice. He will not force anything –
but there will be consequences for it.
i. Reminded me of my study on the patriarchs and how Esau, just
because he was hungry and craved food immediately, willingly sold
his birthright to Jacob.
c. I must feed my mind with God’s Word to continue the transformation
of his likeness. Just because I am a “missionary” doesn’t mean I have
reached it all. If anything, I need to work harder on feeding my mind
so Satan doesn’t pull me away.
d. Lastly, whatever enters my mind repeatedly occupies, resides in it.
It sticks around. It is there. What or Who will I have occupy my mind?

After church went home and parked the van in the compound again…I saw kids and some adults standing around, so I went to them and introduced myself. I was told a lot of the kids were orphans staying with a lady. Most of the kids had to be between 4-9 years old. Let me tell you this, you introduce yourself to a kid and they will not leave you alone. They will follow you, talk to you, and look at you. So much, that the kids figured out they can open the little peep hole in the gate and watch us. Kinda funny, kinda weird. Just wait till we open the gates to start doing programs with them!! YIKERS!! Sweet children though. They are in charge of watching me leave and come in from now – apparently I am fun to watch. Once I told them to watch me I started driving out of there perfectly – PG!! I am digging my neighborhood. The ants, cockroaches and other bugs….not so much. I think I killed a bunch today fumigating the house with this “amateur” stuff….once they are gone, neighborhood is great. Oh, and if our landlord gets the water back to normal so we can take good showers and wash dishes and clothes…then it would be perfect.

Well, today was day two of Scovia’s treatments. Simon and I picked her and her mother up at Tegot to take her into Gulu town. When I saw her walking towards me I noticed the bandage was bloody. When we got to the clinic’s waiting room she was so frightened. Here this little girl is always sassy, fun and smiling but she was just sitting there stiff. I tried making her laugh by making her a glove balloon with a face. Ya, nothing. When they called her in the room I asked if I could go with…so I did. She was getting a shot in the rear and she was so scared. Her mom sat at the foot of the bed so I went to her face and gave her my hands to hold and squeeze if she needed. My mom would always do that for me and it comforted me when I had to get a shot. They then took the bandage off. Oh my word, they scrapped sooooo much off yesterday! It was just a fresh deep, fleshy wound, but compared to yesterdays black, puss, almost moldy wound today it was gorgeous! It looked like the wound was just made. When they were cleaning it she was screaming and crying. I just held her and whispered to her not to mention trying to fan her because it was so hot. I just wanted to cry with her. All I could do was hold her close to me and boy did she need it. Her mom, as loving and great as she is, just sat there, looked at her and told her to stop crying. I don’t even think she knew Scov needed to be held and cuddled. This war here has so desensitized people to know the basic needs of hugs and touch. I can’t imagine Scovia going through all that and not being held. That is traumatizing. Oh how my heart broke when she was screaming and crying. I can’t imagine what Margaret was feeling. She loves her baby so much and didn’t know what to do. Please pray hard for Scovia’s leg and a quick healing. We have to go three more days for treatments. We checked on Piloya Mercy and it isn’t looking as good as it should – she isn’t keeping it clean…pray that heals. If it doesn’t get better tomorrow when I pick Scov up we will take her too.

One thing that dawned on me after Simon told me that Scovia’s first time out of camp and in Gulu was yesterday, was that this little girl, and so many like her, have never seen anything but camp. No electricity, running water, regular homes, busy city, buildings, etc. Scov didn’t even have shoes on to keep her feet from the filth! She saw a television that was on (not appropriate – stupid music videos) and she was jus mesmerized. I guess yesterday she saw a switch and played with it to put the lights on and off. I think we need to make plans to bring students into town. One way to give an excellent education is to expose children to new experiences that are outside of their world. So we are going to plan some outings for children who do well in school, have good attendance with club, come to tutoring, etc. Maybe treat them to ice cream or go to Acholi Inn to go swimming. Something they never experienced before. I am kinda excited about this.

Spending so much time with Simon today we were able to talk a lot about the heart for the ministry at Tegot. I just love the people of Tegot so much. I feel like I can’t even try to look to see if God is leading me somewhere else in ministry; as if Tegot drew me to Gulu but God has something else in mind. I just don’t think that. I really do believe Tegot is truly it. My heart is there. I love the children and the families so much. Stopping by periodically on the road when we see parents, grandparents, children and their siblings to greet and help them out is such a blessing in itself. One mom today even remembered my name!! That blessed the socks off of me! You will never find a group of people like the people of Tegot. I want to invest my life into them. Just pour it all out, love them, walk alongside, learn, teach, pray, eat, fellowship and live. Found out there are 20 acres of land for sale for the equivalent of $11,080 nearby…

Getting back to town I went straight to Café Larem to chat with my mom and brother. Saw American guy and we chatted a bit. Invited him for Thanksgiving at our house (have NO clue where that came from – lol) and he agreed. He doesn’t know any other Americans. I am envisioning how lonely it can be during the holidays for someone. Talked to my mom and Bobby and Noah. My conversation was cut short with Bobby and Noah because Noah, in his squirreliness, bumped his mouth on the desk and started bleeding badly. Pray for healing on that guy. He is so cute and I just love him so much.

Thunderstorms are coming!! They are great here – especially with the tin roof it sounds awesome. The thunder sounds amazing. I can’t explain the real difference except that it just sounds majestic. The rain hitting the clay soil sounds like life pouring down. I feel like I can just hear the plants, the ground moaning with the refreshment. And it is here…..