Questioning the bits that seem more like insanity....

I go by "gut" as the world calls it....but I call Him my God - Holy Spirit.

Things do not make sense to me. Time doesn't seem to be of the essence. Commitment is only to the Maker. Vision is to be accomplished and He speeds or slows down in matter of minutes to years. He calls, beckons....we are to answer. The table is set, all utensils, dinnerware, drinks and food laid out before after much preparation...stomachs growling for the good food to FINALLY enter and satisfy...

The table gets flipped over.

That isn't the meal to feast on.

I am not before my Maker...yet. That meal is to be satisfied before Him and Him alone...in His house.

I am not there.

My eyes are fixed on the kingdom.

I will question, I will ask, I will be confused - no doe-eyed, trying to make sense...when all I know is that I just need to press on. Listen. Obey. Trust. There will be times I will realize it is all worth it. ALL worth it.

A fake yawn covered the desire to sing-a-long. A three year old leading to the second pew in the front rather than in the back. Did I mention no difficulty in rising, what I anticipated a dragon but instead a gentlye lamb woke ready to follow? To go where He has been calling all along. To obey. To be prayed over. To hear "Amen".

My decision to not go back to Uganda full time is not something I can easily walk away from...but it is easy to run to the next call God has put before me.

I understand how parents want the best for their children...no, better yet, I understand why they want their children to be the best human beings in the whole wide world. God's best....and moreover, to be His and Him their's...to be fully engaged in a life serving Christ and knowing Him fully.

As the timing of Uganda and home have swapped places in priority, my heart, desire and love for God's kingdom in both places have not changed - rather, it has increased with a great urgency....great. Love is everywhere, anywhere - it is placed at the center right along Christ who is at the center...

And that, ladies and gentlemen, can be in the bush to city streets....