I called on Him and asked God to clarify some visions for me. He answered the way He wanted to. (He even had the first song of worship SAY this! I laughed)
Again, I was standing high on top overlooking the river, the mountains, the land…He was standing next to me. I turned around…I wanted Him to lead me to the next step like He so faithfully does. But then I saw a switch in the lead. Instead of Him holding my hand and moving forward with me following Him, I instead, was placed before Him; holding His hand. I then saw where I was to lead Him. I saw on top, in the midst of light, a dark spot with the cross soaring high above casting a large shadow – as a path to show me directly where I needed to go. Here is what I felt prompted: I needed to walk towards the cross….show myself the need to have Jesus near that cross, on that cross and suffer on that cross…for me. I needed to come to terms with where I led Jesus. The nails – though I saw myself only piercing Him with one nail on His right hand, I saw it. I saw Him bloodied, beaten – but worse off, He looked at me the whole time. He then hung there. I felt like I should be ashamed, but rather I felt His overwhelming power absolutely making me clean – I was a white bride…a white bride so not deserving but preserved only to bring Him glory. It was either Him or me….and He let me escort Him to the cross, He let me pierce Him, He let me see Him hanging there….He let me live, love and be with the one I want – but at a price so great I still can’t comprehend. The cross is where He died and I live. His blood on the ground. His nerve endings screaming and throbbing in anguish. Never self-medicating Himself, He followed me with His eyes – from dark to light…to death to life….to shame to restoration. I then saw myself walking away, Him still there…but somehow I knew He wouldn’t be there long. I knew He was giving me my portion
There is no way I can sit idly and not do anything with the life I’ve been given. Nothing. I shouldn’t be here on numerous accounts. Yet, I stand and breath here.
I’ve come to grips with the knowledge in my heart and head that I led Him there. I am taking responsibility for that. However, it is totally by grace that He even accepted to go.
I am trying to understand the different visions the LORD has given me. I know they are all from Him, however, I am trying to understand how they all tie together. So this just means more prayer time. And being still before Him….and just waiting on Him.
1 comment:
This made my cry. Like not a few tears, but really cry. I think part of it was the church service we had last night too.. normally church is over around 8:30 on Wednesdays, but this time it went until after 10. We decided as a body to wait on God. To see where HE wanted to go, but by waiting, we were expecting and by expecting, we were leading Him there also. I have to say Chrissy, I'm not sure exactly WHY this made me cry, but something triggered inside of me... I'll be praying that God show you more clearly what the vision is about. Thanks for sharing!
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