Part I of Week 3 :)

October 23, 2009

Two more days until my brother and sister-in-law’s birthday!!

Today, Friday, is my day “off”. I had a lot to do today but I still do not want to claim a day off, per se. I feel like when I walk around I should minister; when I talk, I should minister; when I see, I should minister; when I breath, I should minister.

First on my agenda was to get a PO Box. Ingrid from church has been consistently harassing me to give her an address. Consitently. Bless her heart! So I went to the post today to get my box. The gentleman gave me a form to fill and told me I needed two passport photos. Boy, was I glad I got 4 passport photos done before I left! So I went back home to get the pictures. When I arrived, Simon was there with some good news. He told me that there was an announcement on the radio this morning calling for all NGO’s (non government organizations) to attend a short 15 minute meeting about the upcoming Gulu Walk set for tomorrow, Saturday. I was excited for this! After I got my pictures we headed to the post to get my box and then over to the Gulu District NGO Forum. This is my dream connection source! All NGO’s participate in some way. We asked about the meeting and were told to come at 11.

Since it was about 9:40ish we thought it would be good to go and get the van washed and fueled. We went to this place right outside of the main area and waited for an hour to get the van washed. AI VAY! They did a great job, though.
We arrived a bit late to the meeting but were able to catch up on all the information. I always enjoyed participating in community organizations and city politics – reminded me of my YMCA days. Anyhow, I was able to collect more information and contacts.
After the meeting we parted ways and I went back home. I am reading this book Papa John gave the office staff so I continued on that. Of course, a little nap was in order, too. I then did some shopping at the bakery for bread and headed to the internet café. How two hours passes by quickly! It was great to connect with family and friends. My mom and I tried skypeing but she couldn’t hear me. Sad. I was able to instant message Sarah a lot…that’s always nice. Fridays were always our days to talk!

I posted pictures on facebook and sent out my updates. Good stuff.

I decided I needed juice so I went to this new market Mary took me to a week ago. It is owned by a Hindu lady who never smiles. When I went there, she again didn’t smile. I tried making a little small talk but she just didn’t seem interested. She seemed so distant…like her heart was somewhere else. When I left I made a point to make eye contact and say thank you and bye. She looked at me and smiled a bit. I think I am going to make that my juice store of choice.

Sitting at home and writing now about the day makes it seem like today was just another day. Nothing too big, nothing too small. One thing that dawned on me today was that any person I see deformed I can pretty much guarantee it was due to the LRA. Wow. I see many makeshift wheelchairs, people with large walking sticks used more like crutches, legs severed, faces scarred…all reminders daily of the LRA, the war. Outrageous. There is no amount of research you can do that prepares you to see it face to face. No amount of visits or documentaries that get your eyes ready, your heart ready….nothing is like living in it. Being part of it.

I feel like I am quiet too much. I have always sat back and observed first before I acted. I always wanted to understand and make sure I felt comfortable in a situation to pursue it. I feel like right now I am doing that but I am not sure for how long or even if I should be doing that now. I know I need to understand the people and the culture – but does that give me an excuse to not go out and do more? Or do I need to understand and acclimate fully? The night seems to be calling me to serve…but I do not yet know or understand that here yet. No light or safe spot do I know here. Do I wait until I do understand to move? To serve? Will that cost just one life? Or will that gain one life?

I see all these children in the street during school hours; dirty, shoeless, and unsupervised. When am I going to get over myself and just walk and sit with them? Pray for the ministry the LORD wants me to do. Pray hard…His will needs to be done. His kingdom needs to be shown. These children are so beautiful. I love them with everything in me.

October 24, 2009

I finally got a little tan in today.

Today was Gulu Walk. All over the world people walked for the plight of the children in Gulu. However, the people of Gulu had the chance to stand up for their own children and engage the culture in peace for their children. It was really neat – it was a two hour walk all along Gulu. We got nice bright orange t-shirts.

We then visited Tegot to do our family visit with Concy, Felix and Scovia’s family. On our way to their home, I saw a girl I met last December – Nancy. I stopped and said hello. I am so glad I remembered her…she has such a great smile and is so shy. I’ve been praying for her. I hope to see her again soon. Anyways, when we went to Concy’s house, we were able to advise and support mom in some directives for Concy. I hope and pray she received it well. After that was another delicious family meal – beans with tomatoes and onions and potatoes/cassava. We then chilled out for awhile just talking and having fun. Sarah, Melissa and I played the game Black Magic with Simon…he was amazed at our ability to know the object!

While we were socializing just the four of us, kids were around the door of the hut. I finally said I was going to count to three and we all should go chase the kids. So…one…two…three….we ran out. That started off our afternoon of playing! We had to be outside playing for hours. I just had so much fun talking, hugging, running, listening, playing…..it just makes my heart so happy. I know that sounds cheesy but I really enjoyed it.

I am sitting here really struggling with a powerful headache but much more, the direction and vision the LORD has for me here. I am still not fully clear on where and what God wants me to do specifically in terms of ministry focus. My heart naturally aches for the inner city (street children) but being at Tegot is home to me. I love it dearly. I love the people dearly. It is what has called me here. I am not going to jump into anything. I am still waiting. I wait expectantly for Him to deliver the answer in His timing.

October 25, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOBBY AND MEGAN!!!

I woke up again to a dream I am not sure how I want to take. Someone was waiting patiently for me to get ready and come down to meet him. I was taking my time and figuring out what I was going to wear for this meeting. By the time I was ready, he was frustrated and left. He left word that he would be available at 2:30. So I was left with figuring out how I was going to meet up with him at 2:30. Weird.

After my shower I glanced out the window to see a goat hanging off of a tree upside down. A man next to it was sharpening his knives. He then proceeded to skin the goat. I watched for a bit. I tried walking away but would glance every so often. I almost wanted to see the process. But then I didn’t. I think the man saw me from my window watching him. Now, when I look at the spot I see a few big stains of blood on the ground where the goat hung.

There is this American (and I know this because of his accent and the way he looks – like he just came out of an REI catalog!) who is at my hotel. He is doing some big project and has meetings every morning after breakfast. I want to ask him what he is doing. I am a bit scared to…isn’t that funny? I need to before I leave…because I am moving into a house in November!!! YAY!!!

Sarah, Melissa and I went to Simon’s church to hear him preach today. It was a long but good service. The highlight of it all was seeing Agnes. For those who know any of my stories, Agnes was one of our translators in December. Her testimony and life is amazing – she always gives Glory to God! I enjoyed her presence immensely during our time here…but really what made me just appreciate her greatly was our last night as a team in Gulu. It was after dinner and her and I were just talking. Now, Agnes is a very soft, well-spoken woman but all of a sudden – she started speaking to me as the Spirit was directing her. She recited Isaiah 54 and summed it up for me personally saying God was calling me to be a mother to many nations. That regardless I must walk with Him and follow the plan He has for me. That shook me – my friend Kelly actually spoke Isaiah 54:1-3 prior to me leaving Uganda. Anyways, that has stayed with me and has guided me. My last year’s class felt like my children, my neighbor kids are like my children, the youth at church I love like my own, and the children of Gulu…the children of Tegot…oh do I love them as well! I thank God for Agnes’ boldness. In fact, I was so excited to be working with her when I first was planning on moving here. I sadly found out in spring that she was no longer with ECM. That broke my heart. I truly felt like God was calling her as someone I could work alongside with for the Acholi women. So when I got here I asked Simon if he still spoke to her – and he said yes! With that, he asked her to come to see me today. Oh when I saw her I felt like a long lost sister was found! When I saw her walk in church, I leaned over to Melissa and pointed her out. After service it was a delight to see my sister! We talked and caught up a bit. I truly hope there is a way I may be able to work with her for the people of Gulu.

I have always been buff –the years of working out for track and then working at the Y I was able to continue my regime and have muscle tone. Well, now, I don’t do either of those…I’ve lost a lot of weight but haven’t lifted weights…I am beginning to hate my arms. Know how people ask if there was one thing you could change about yourself? I never liked that question…but today, it would be my arms…ick. I did find out there is a gym here in Gulu..Melissa actually has a free guest pass if I want to use it. Maybe that will get Simon off my back. He has been saying things about me being bigger than Melissa. Well, duh – I will never be a twig…and if I was I am sure I would be missing a few organs. ;) I am fearfully and wonderfully made – this I know well!! (Kuddos to Candacee ;) )

FOOTBALL GOAL!!! (It is loud in the lobby!)

Bodas – not sure if I’ve mentioned them, but they are motorcycle taxis. Now, I used to kinda freak out a bit around men I didn’t know at all…I am better. God has worked on me…but now, getting on a random guys bike and trusting him to take me where I need to go…that still creeps me out a bit. I would rather walk or not go somewhere. I have the van to use so that is good. So far, walking has been perfect. But I just don’t like the idea of using a boda…it just kinda freaks me out…in a silly way. Not in a bad freak out way. It is a huge mode of transportation here and everyone does it…but I just don’t want to. However, Sarah and Melissa are trying to get me to use one before they leave. I just don’t know about that. They even tried bullying me into trying it out after lunch! Ok, no bullying, but they did get the chance to see the ridiculousness of Christine.

It is so much easier for Ugandans to call me Christine than Chrissy. However, the
Americans seem to go with Chrissy. I like the way Christine sounds with the Ugandan accent…it is about as pretty, light and friendly as Chrissy.

I feel like I talk about the food here a lot – but I am just so pleased with it. We went to this place after church called Diana’s Garden. It was in a part of town I wasn’t familiar with. The most amazing matoke, greens and veggies EVER!! I ate a lot…but then I haven’t really eaten much veggies….wow, was I happy!! We also spent a lot of time talking. I really am grateful for Melissa and Sarah. I just really pray that they will come back full time. It would be such a blessing. We started talking about how we want to live out by Tegot and get adopted by a family to live on their compound since we are single, young women. That would be sweet. We are planning on getting solar panels and everything! We all realize how much we love Tegot and want to do more. It is great to have like minded people who understand the depth of the love that we three share for Tegot.

I have been asking a lot “What am I supposed to do here, God?!” I see all these needs, all these opportunities and I just can’t fathom a focus. This is where I need divine guidance because otherwise I will dip in too much and not deep enough. This morning I just asked God to clearly set my feet on His path for this journey. From my lesson on Jacob’s wrestling with God in Genesis 33, to the understanding of redemption and God’s use of it daily in our lives from Dinah’s situation in Genesis 34, to Matthew 20:32 when Jesus asks what He can do for you, to Isaiah54, to my encouragement in speaking to Agnes, to God opening my ears and my eyes to see a path during prayer at church, I feel that He is moving me towards the concept of motherhood. It would explain the strong desire for women’s ministry, the absolute gushing love over the children, and the pure dedication of my life for others. I am not necessarily saying for me to birth my own children, but to take on responsibilities, leadership, love and direction as a mother would for her children. How this all fits in? Not absolutely sure but I know I need to dedicate more time to prayer, fasting and being at Tegot. I know it sounds weird to say prayer, fasting and Tegot…but Tegot represents for me more than a place…it is my heart. My absolute love. Want to know why? Because He has shown me it before I knew it existed; He has been here before me; He is absolutely there when I am there.
His presence CANNOT be escaped by any means. He is fully there – He is wanted, desired and needed there.

I found today, through a video one of the team members from last summer made, that Tegotatoo means something horrific. Atoo means death hill and Tegot means under a rock. So the whole meaning of Tegotatoo IDP Camp is Death under a Rock. How do I want it to be Life built on a Rock!! THE Rock of all Ages!!!

Oh, Tegot. How do you need me? Just tell me, LORD, and I will be obedient.

And now, the whole city is cheering for the football win. I feel like it is a Packer game. I might have to switch from Packer football to Ugandan football. 

October 26, 2009

So the rain….all of a sudden it just thundered and started pouring. Ha. It is like torrential downpour. I don’t think I have seen such fat raindrops! I am in the office all by myself. It is kinda nice.

My brain is on overload with all of the things that can be done. When is He going to let me know exactly what I am supposed to do? Is He going to make me wait awhile? If so, how long? Right when I feel like I know what I should do my brain just gets overloaded again.

Met with the founder and director of Zion Project, Sarita Hartz, today at Café Larema. She is a wealth of knowledge! Definitely want to utilize her knowledge and expertise. She was very helpful and gave me some good direction and possible collaboration efforts between the two of our organizations. We will see. Lots of prayer needed.

After that, Sarah and I had lunch and talked. She is really awesome and I appreciate her greatly. More so now because she got me an Acholi Bible (Baibul) of my own! ;) Seriously, she is amazing and I respect her opinions. She understands the people and the culture – it is good to throw ideas at her and get feedback. Sometimes I feel like I ask too many questions…one day she will tell me to stop. 

Side note, I might be stuck in this office for awhile….hmmmm….the rain just keeps on coming.

Nope, wait, I think it is done. There are actually puddles out!! (Normally, the rain just sinks in the ground and it just gets dry again –boy between last night’s rain and today’s!!)

And then…a rooster crows.

I really am in Africa. Really. I am not playing around. I actually moved. I am on the other side of the world. I am in another world. Why doesn’t it feel foreign to me?

I am still trying to figure out how to really have my heart and mind work as one. My heart is wise and knows the way of the LORD. I have no doubt about my heart. But my mind keeps on trying to sink itself somewhere else. There are things I no longer need to concern myself with and I feel my heart is removed from it but for some crazy reason my head still goes back and forth. What is that? I know Christ will conquer all thoughts and capture it. It isn’t causing serious problems or anything but it just gets annoying. I wonder if it is Satan trying to pull me off…but maybe this struggle is coming because I no longer care about what he is trying to tempt me to get me out of this freedom. I am enjoying my freedom here, folks! Is there ever a time where Satan’s attacks just get annoying and you just blow it off? When those attacks no longer feel like attacks, just little gnat flies that can be swatted out of the way, does he come up with something bigger? I wonder. Right now, I feel like there is nothing from old he could bring up and it would affect me. Is that a bad mindset?

I miss playing the djembe. I really do.

My cd player is working on my computer again (it went on vacation for a week). I like listening to David Crowder Band. That, and Chris Tomlin, makes me happy.

I need to buy a bed and mattress. I think I want to get a queen size…the twin just seems so small…and if I am going to be here for awhile I might as well get comfortable!

See if you can guess this verse:

“ Pien Lubana con omaro lobo kumeno, omiyo iye Wode acel keken, wek dano ducu ma ye en owek to, ento oved ki kwo ma pet um.”

October 27, 2009

My boo and poosho didn’t survive for dinner. Stupid ants.
(Translation: it is a groundnut, greens sauce with a starch like doughy thing – hard to explain but DELICIOUS! I had it last night for dinner and some leftovers for lunch…but then the ants got into it for my dinner…boohoo. Back to peanut butter and rolls.)

Our team has, as a group finally, decided that ECM Gulu will move into the community of Tegot. It is confirmed. Mary is even willing to move her husband and Sharon. DONE! Kidding, kinda aside, I believe that this is confirmation on the direction the LORD wants me to take in my ministry. I have been torn between Tegot and city work. But Tegot is always at the heart of it all. To hear my co-workers at different times all concur that Tegot is ECM’s ministry and the passion we all have for it…it must be it.

I am so content here. Each day is better. It was hard at first with no friends...heck no one to even know, and those that would know me, could have ended up hating me…but now I even know shopkeepers, market people, and of course, have great co-workers, who honestly seem more like sisters and brother. I never thought I could be this content.

I am pleased to say our internet works…slowly, but it works, at the office!!

I got to hold Agnes little one, Aaron Rickie. Oh goodness is he cute!! I cuddled with him…made me miss Noah.

Working at Tegot today was great. I think I will just continue to be the Human Horseshoe until the kids stop playing. They get out of school at 1pm (the P1-P3; the older kids have an hour break before they have to go back to school) and have an hour to play. Boy, do we play! It is a great time to spend with the kids…even kids who are not in our program. I kinda like that time to get to know others. Anyways, we have these huge plastic circles (think Frisbees) and I throw them out into the crowd of kids. They then try to throw them on my arms like a horseshoe game. It is fun. Of course nothing like the acrobatics Simon has taken to lately with the children.
During sponsorship tutoring we were able to do stations. I did the writing station…they had to copy down the alphabet. After tutoring I took some pictures. Sarah, Melissa and I are trying to teach kids that hugs are ok. Some are just plain freaked out by touching. Some will shake hands. Most don’t know how to respond to hugs. I think they are getting it though. Little Ajok Sharon (yup, your girl, Jess!) sat next to me and hugged into me…then Anena Scovia…the Adong Nighty…soon I had a little group of huggers. It was wonderful. I really want the children to know what a good healthy touch is…these children have been so victimized. My goodness do I love these children!!!

Talking to Bobby and Noah tonight really made me happy. I just giggle when Noah says my name and just enjoy it immensely when I can talk to my brother.

Did a lot of catch up on emails. Which is always nice.

Know how I struggled a little my first week here? I am not feeling the loneliness, the struggle of my situation. It was weird the other day I felt called to Matthew 6:13 and when I read it I was like, what? “do not lead me into temptation, but deliver me from the evil one.” I feel like a lot of the recent dreams were ways Satan was trying to tempt me out of freedom (or maybe it is the malaria medicine!). But I am realizing what reality I want to live in and how I want to live: for Christ, in Christ. Freedom in Christ is so giddy-up, awesome!!! It is exhilarating! It is hard, of course, but it is the best life to live. I guess this goes back to being so content here.

I said good morning to the American guy. He wasn’t that scary but he really didn’t want to chat. Boo on him. I will get him to talk soon enough.

It is weird to see so many white people here…Americans, for the most part. Some of the things they say or even dress like makes me cringe. I know they are doing some good work, but I have to remember that they are not missionaries. That makes me think; can work truly be done right if Christ isn’t in the center of it? Can a person truly find healing and become whole with all the programs, counseling and education without Jesus? Just a question.

Time finally seems to be speeding up here. At first I felt like everything was sooooo
slow. But now it seems to be hurrying along!!

70% cocoa is the highest dark chocolate content I like…anything higher is just too bitter.

Pray for Barbara (Kelly, your gal)...she has a HUGE bump and wound on her forehead…didn’t get a clear story what happened but it isn’t nice at all. Also, pray for Anena Scovia, she has two nasty wounds on her leg that are not healing. She is kinda limping now.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

It is the latest I am voluntarily up – 11:20. AI VI!

I had to have had some of the weirdest, most vivid dreams last night – at least six woke me up! I take my malaria medicine every Friday – so I am trying to figure out what is going on here! Could this stuff be messing with me during the week? I need a pharmacist’s professional opinion here!

Last night I decided I wanted to go to Tegot…I just need to be there more than three days a week. So I asked everyone if they wanted to go – no pressure. Well, all of us, except Sarah (she needed some well deserved rest) did. It was wonderful. I, being the math teacher dork of the world, did random math questions with the children. I would write a problem in the dirt and they took turns answering. There were a couple of older girls who wanted to listen in but didn’t want to participate in front of the whole group. I caught them writing down the problems on a piece of paper and figuring them out. So, I then started writing problems for them to work on as a group while I worked with the other kids in the dirt. It was so much fun. We then played a bit. By the time it was time to go, I found little Scovia. Her wounds were so much worse and she was limping badly. Melissa said they have been bad for a month and that she thinks she is picking at the scabs. Today they were horrible…I saw this white fleshy material and blood oozing out of three spots on her leg – knee, shin and heel. Flies were attached to the wounds. It was absolutely disgusting. I made her go sit in the car, washed the wounds with water from my Nalgene and applied some covering so the flies would not eat at it. Tomorrow, I am going to bring more stuff for her. Oh goodness, my Scovia! We drove her home into camp. Of course I had to go and almost take down two huts by not seeing the laundry line between them! YIKES! I did get to meet some of the older students (P7 – but I think they were like 15 years old!). They speak English very well and have great senses of humor. They thought they could mess with me but I just gave it back to them. That’s the fun part about older kids…I now have some to mess with: Alex, Innocent and Patrick.

On our way back I experienced my first daytime torrential downpour WHILE driving! It took us longer to get home – you just never know when a puddle is really a deep pot hole! We survived though. We stopped at the market to pick up snacks for Zion. I had not experienced the market yet, so I followed Melissa into the market and getting soaked on the way. It is like this amazing other city. Everything is connected and it is so much bigger than you think it is from the outside. It kind of reminded me of Gotham City. Little shops connected, dark, covered, smelly and crowded. The food part of the market is tucked in the heart of it all…so we passed veggies, fruits, and the smelliest, most disgusting fish odor EVER and rows of dried and fresh fish. PUKEAGE! I saw banana row and we were able to get our deal and head back to the van. I definitely need to take a day and just mosy around the market.

Zion tonight was a blessing. I didn’t realize the kids we were worked with were from two different projects – the original Acholi house project with the mom’s and children who walk to our site which is the Congolese children’s home. The Congolese children are about 10 girls whose mothers are in the sex slave or prostitute trade who want better for their children, so they give their daughters to Zion to raise. These ten girls are so beautiful and spirit filled it is amazing!! We stayed longer after our tutoring session and joined them in their nightly praise and worship. Oh do these girls praise Him!! Their singing is angelic, loud, vibrant and real. Their dancing is joyful and honoring. Their prayers are bold and genuine. It was the best praise I have been to yet!!! PRAISE GOD!

I also made a new friend today – Lucy. She is the cutest dog in Uganda! She will follow you ANYWHERE. She is a cuddler…she apparently is the neighborhood dog…but I could maybe take her.

After that, Melissa, Sarah and I went out to dinner. It was fun, full of fellowship and laughter. Sarah even knew what awkward turtle was! She then taught me awkward salmon…funny stuff. American guy was at the restaurant…I told the girls how other Americans sort of freak me out. They think I am weird.

I just have to say, I am so humbled that my job is to work here and build relationships with people for His kingdom. I can’t believe that it is actually my job! I also am beyond humbled that people are supporting me in prayers and finances. Wow.
Thank you!!!

I need to learn Acholi fast…like four weeks ago fast.

I smell the fish from the market still….oh goodness does it need to go away!